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A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.
I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.
Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes
We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.
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Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
A man can\'t be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
Hofstadter\'s Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter\'s Law.
Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
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I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.
Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
Hanlon\'s Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.
If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives.
It\'s not the size of the dog in the fight, it\'s the size of the fight in the dog.
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
Sometimes, the best answer is a more interesting question
Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.
I don\'t pray because I don\'t want to bore God.
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There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other\'s children.
In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it\'s the exact opposite.
A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.
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If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
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People who think they know everything greatly annoy those of us who do.
I hate those men who would send into war youth to fight and die for them; the pride and cowardice of those old men, making their wars that boys must die.
I\'m all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let\'s start with typewriters.
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.
Sex is like air. It\'s only a big deal if you can\'t get any.
A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.
Love is the answer - but while you\'re waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
Don\'t drive me crazy -- it\'s within walking distance.
I\'m not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.
I\'m not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
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Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.
Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.
Gigerenzer\'s Law of Indispensable Ignorance: The world cannot function without partially ignorant people.
There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
The use of anthropomorphic terminology when dealing with computing systems is a symptom of professional immaturity.
What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage.
I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.
If you take something apart and put it back together again enough times, you will eventually have enough parts left over to build a second one.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
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We are not retreating - we are advancing in another Direction.
Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.
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Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.
Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains.
Finagle\'s Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.
It\'s impossible to experience one\'s death objectively and still carry a tune.
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don\'t work, those that break down and those that get lost.
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If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
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All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.
If quantum physics doesn\'t confuse you then you don\'t understand it.
The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.
If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
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My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
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I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
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A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.
We should leave our minds open, but not so open that our brains fall out.
For if he like a madman lived, At least he like a wise one died.
It is better to be quotable than to be honest.
It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one\'s doubts.
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Total absence of humor renders life impossible.
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The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don\'t have it.
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If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?
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The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
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The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don\'t have it.
The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There\'s also a negative side
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There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
There\'s no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
If everything seems under control, you\'re just not going fast enough.
Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
Sterling\'s Corollary to Clarke\'s Law: Any sufficiently advanced garbage is indistinguishable from magic.
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Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She\'s 97 today and we don\'t know where she is!
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true.
Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they\'re eating sandwiches.
One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.
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We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor like you like to be liked yourself.
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We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor like you like to be liked yourself.
Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.
If it wasn\'t for C, we\'d be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL.
The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
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If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
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Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.
You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, \'Don\'t you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?\' I said \'I didn\'t know there were any witnesses. Now I\'ll have to kill you too\'.
Gravity cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.
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Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they\'re eating sandwiches.
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We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.
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Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.
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The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It\'s the transition that\'s troublesome.
Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!
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An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex.
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If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?
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Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
And God said, \'Let there be light\' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
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If it weren\'t for electricity we\'d all be watching television by candlelight.
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Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.
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Humor is also a way of saying something serious.
For if he like a madman lived, At least he like a wise one died.
Those are my principles. If you don\'t like them I have others.
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... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.
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Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don\'t add up.
If all the world\'s managers were laid end to end, it would be an improvement.
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it
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Humor is also a way of saying something serious.
I never forget a face, but in your case I\'ll be glad to make an exception.
My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
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Minsky\'s Second Law: Don\'t just do something. Stand there.
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I\'ll never know.
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable.
Don\'t be so humble - you are not that great.
A physicist is an atom\'s way of knowing about atoms.
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Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
Computers are useless; they can only give you answers.
Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.
I don\'t know anything about music. In my line you don\'t have to.
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It\'s the transition that\'s troublesome.
Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that\'s how dogs spend their lives.
Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.
Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.
It is better to be quotable than to be honest.
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
They laughed when I said I\'d be a comedian. They aren\'t laughing now.
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My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate.
We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor like you like to be liked yourself.
Write a wise word and your name will live forever.
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The right to swing my fist ends where the other man\'s nose begins.
I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It\'s pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California.
Emulate your heros, but don\'t carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.
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ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI?!
A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.
Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!
After every \'victory\' you have more enemies.
Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.
Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration.
Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.
Real punks help little old ladies across the street because it shocks more people than if they spit on the sidewalk.
Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.
The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.
Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++.
Three o\'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.
One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.
Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.
Devlin\'s First Law - Buyer beware: in the hands of a charlatan, mathematics can be used to make a vacuous argument look impressive. Devlin\'s Second Law - So can PowerPoint.
So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me
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I wouldn\'t mind dying - it\'s the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.
If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.
I\'m fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in.
All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.
Only one man ever understood me, and he didn\'t understand me.
If it wasn\'t for C, we\'d be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL.
When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, \'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don\'t believe?
Multitasking /adj./ 3 PCs and a chair with wheels?!
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn\'t go away.
If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?
Don\'t sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things.
Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.
If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn\'t.
Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++.
Silence is argument carried out by other means.
Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.
The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.
If a man does his best, what else is there?
Jesus may love you, but I think you\'re garbage wrapped in skin.
There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
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As the post said, \'Only God can make a tree,\' probably because it\'s so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
I\'m trying to see things from your point of view but I can\'t get my head that far up my ass.
I don\'t want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
I\'m not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check.
The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
Hofstadter\'s Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter\'s Law.
I agree with the reforms, but I want nothing to change
最終更新日 : 2012/01/26/(Thu) 10:26
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